If you haven't noticed, I am rather self assured about my ability to communicate. Yes, I am an excellent orator and I can hold my own with a pen. Yet, I too often find myself plagued by misunderstandings and lack of efficient communication. I can also be the queen of being vague and enigmatic, intentionally running people in circles of confusion, saying the opposite of what I mean, using the hypothetical to avoid commitment, and just not saying what I need to say in the most concise and appropriate way. What we have here is an interesting dichotomy... and a continual problem.

If you know me, I am sure that you can think of an instance where my words were insufficient, ineffective, or just inappropriate. Apparently, I too often disregard John Mayer's lyrical advice to say what I need to say, and Christ's warning to simplistically say it (Matthew 5:37).

Recently, I have been pondering this paradox. Why can I not just use my gifting to glorify God? Why do I continually refrain from speaking when I know I should, and speak when I know I should refrain? Why do I play these intentional word games? How can I praise God and curse His creation with the same mouth? If I am so gifted extemporaneously, how can I justify my excuses when my words don't have the desired effect? How does my greatest strength still manage to become my greatest weakness? Why can I tell strangers things with ease while I struggle to share the same insights with my closest friends? The list goes on, but this is the question that haunts me... What do my communication flaws indicate about my relationship with God and how are my shortcomings hindering the work He wants to do in me and through me?

Notice my word choices even now. I did not say how am I acting against God, but I distance myself from my sin. Remove myself from my problem. I think I just recently realized that I am my problem. My communication flaws are out of the overflow of my heart (Matthew 12:34; Luke 6:45). It's a heart problem, indicating my impurity, my inequity, and my indifference. My communication is messed up because I am messed up and I have not given God access to clean and refine this area of my life.

I just finished reading "The Power of Words and the Wonder of God", a compilation of sermons from the 2008 Desiring God Conference featuring Piper and Driscoll among others. A passage from Paul David Tripp's message reinforces this sentiment...

"I am convinced that much of what we do in an attempt to change our communication is nothing more or less than apple nailing [that is nailing apples to a tree to give the appearance of the tree being fruitful]. It has no energy to understand and confess the war for the heart that lies beneath the war of words. People aren’t my problem. Situations are not my problem. Circumstances are not my problem. Locations are not my problem. My problem is in my heart. It’s only when you and I stand before our Redeemer and are humbly willing to say, regardless of the flawed people that you live with and the fallen world that is your address, that you are your greatest communication problem, that you are heading in a direction of fundamental biblical change in your world of talk." (32)

" From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled;
with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied.

The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit."