Normally I at least try to format my thoughts in some long, drawn out overly dramatic metaphor or something.. but today I am just going to be fragmented

I miss AU/DC already. car ride home= awkward. uncle called me naive and said that i need to grow up and realize money is more important than happiness sometimes. complains about family, then complains about me escaping it. so confused by him. home = same pretty much. sisters seem like zombies. cody is clingy. can tell he misses me. love my dog. raz wont leave my side. saw grandparents last night.. drunk but glad to see me. mom was at bar all night. saw her this morning. nothing new.

met sisters' case worker. seems nice. enchanted by my mom and her ability to create one like me. the cycle never changes, but at least help is help even at minimal levels.

went to school. totally different. people still act like i own place, but i no longer feel connected to it everyone glad to see me. a bit disappointed in my lack of direction of my life. tylus told me that i need to focus. to decide my purpose and get a degree . and then worry about job after... she speaks wisdom. but not in the same sense she used to.. its a bit different now... did say that im always trying to remember myself as a hardass or a bad kid and that i need to realize that i was always one of the good ones.. and that that is okay.. some people are just made to be good ones... i wonder if im still trying to hard to be a bad ass... sometimes i think that i am.. but at the same time... i wonder if i am really a good kid or if i just try to be one.

makes one wonder if i have any clue whatsoever what i am doing with my life. some days i think i know. others i have no idea.. and then there are days when i see fifty million options and i want to take either all of the above or none of the above.. no option in between.

this is weird. nothings changed. little things have.. but the major change is me. cant explain how or in what ways.. but.. yeah.

good to be here. better to leave. wish i had some clarity to accompany me. im starting to get excited for montana...yes, i said it. im starting to look forward to a bit of time with God, and some crazy Christian folk, in the mountains....