As of today, I have been living in Montana for exactly two weeks. Such a short amount of time has passed since my three day greyhound trek to get here, but it seems as if these last two weeks have been two years. It's rather surreal to think about the friends I have made and the things that I have learned since I have been here. I love it here! Although, I must admitt that I am hitting the point of irritation to a certain degree and I am missing the District a little. I cannot complain though because I know that I am going to have difficulty leaving this place already... and I have only been here two weeks.

Something about nature takes my breath away... the mountains.. the stars... the sky... My heart and mind live for the late night conversations with people.... and I am convinced that the greatest feeling in the world is laughing until it hurts.... yes, Montana is refreshing my spirit and renewing my outlook on life.

I still cannot tell you why I am here. I will still be broke at the end of the summer. I am not even guarenteed that I will make enough money to make rent. Not to mention that I don't know how much money I will owe for tuition yet.... my family doesn't support me being here and they don't even know the real reasons for my comming.... and I am not necessarily entirely comfortable with the theological teachings that I am surrounded by.... not even mentioning my feelings concerning XA or AG as organizations. It doesn't make sense for me to be spending the summer at an XA program in Montana. It my not seem logical, but I can assure you that this is exactly where God wants me this summer... and I am intrigued by my situation and curious to see what He has in mind for all this....

The intensity is not overwhelming, but rather refreshing in the midst of a challenge. I feel myself being refreshed, despite the fact that it is a somewhat dry season for me. There will be no burning bushes or miraculous visions this time around, figuratively speaking... but there is a sense of discipline and guidance being slowly established... a foundation of sorts.

Imagine that: building your life about the solid foundation of Christ. Seems simple enough, but yet so complicated. I'm already partly built, half of that rock, half floating in the air. The challenging is to shift things and make the pieces connect in the most structurally stable way possible. Then perhaps, we can step back and try to figure out what the architect has in mind.

The innerworkings of His mind are way too great for me to even attempt to understand; afterall, I can barely figure out what is happening in my own mind. There are a million questions racing through my head... and a million answers that I seek to find. Where to begin is the challenge. And then, I still ask myself on a regular basis if my mind is slowly fleeing from me... am I losing it? I wish sometimes that I could say that I was, it would be so much simplier that way.

I'm not sure what to think... or what I know... but what I cannot deny is that God wants me here and there is purpose in it. I know that in my heart, and it has been confirmed by others... what the purpose may be is really the mystery that I have yet to discover...