After my lengthy rant about why I am skeptical of the A word [see "the A word, and why I don't like it" for explanation], I think it is only fair that I share some meaningful experiences with affirmation.

Since it's both a complete and lucky number, I'll share the top seven affirmations I've received Then, in case you didn't get enough of the A-word: as I bonus, I'll tell you my favorite ways to facilitate meaningful semester/year affirmations. This is quickly sounding like an infomercial, step right up and discover how you too can redeem the world of affirmations. [lists are in no particular order].

A "letter" from summer '09

1. Prophetic letters:  After three months of living together as participants in a summer discipleship program, my housemates and I were encouraged to write notes to one another. We each took time to pray over them, asking God for specific prophetic insights. The result was later transformed into a binder that I have often referred to for encouragement and truthful reminders of who I am.


2. Pep talk: During a really difficult season of life, I was talking on the phone with a close friend about some of my struggles. She interrupted me to assert that I was an asset, one that should be valued. After a five minute pep talk, I was ready to take on the world. More recently, someone organically broke into a pep talk over lunch. Hearing how much this individual believed in me caught me off guard and solicited a few unexpected tears.


3. Radical Introduction: This is perhaps my favorite affirmation ever. It is also one that has haunted me. One of my colleagues in campus ministry introduced me to one of his students as a "radical Christian" and encouraged her to talk with me because I "live out my faith in every aspect of my life". I simultaneously felt a confirmation of "yes, that's who I am" and I conviction of "yes, that's who I need to be". Introductions are actually fantastic ways to affirm someone. I was reminded of this again last week when another colleague gave me the best introduction ever before I spoke at our weekly worship service.


4. Audio reminder: The most ridiculous affirmation I ever received was a mp3 recording of my friend telling me who she thinks I am. She simply messaged me the file. It was corny, but incredibly meaningful. And, if I ever forget, I can always listen to it again. Also, another friend wrote a song about one of our shared experiences, and hearing it brought the biggest smile to my face.


5. Book recommendation: I am a geek, and I love books. I'll never forgot when I asked a mentor for a book, and he gave me a stack of literature that I would have never considered reading. Later I realized that he was affirming the call to missions/ministry on my life by equipping me with material that would encourage me to pursue my calling.


6. Prayer: I still maintain that prayer is the most powerful affirmation ever! If you love someone, you pray for them. If you love someone, you ask God to give you words to encourage them. I'll never forget the occasions when friends prayed with me and shared words of wisdom that God had given them for me.


7. Random email/phone call: One of my favorite emails ever is a quote that a friend send me quite randomly. She was reading a book, and thought of me when she stumbled across this quote. The email was super short- just a quote and a sentence saying that she thought it embodied what I was to become. It has since become one of my mantras in life, and is a major source of encouragement. On a number of other occasions, friends have randomly called me just because they thought of me, and it has totally made my day.

Perhaps this things don't seem like traditional affirmations. They aren't really, but they are some of the most memorable encouragements that I have ever received. The key to affirming someone is to be honest and authentic. Being affirming continually means creatively and consistently showing people that they are valued because they truly are.

How then can scheduled group affirmations be meaningful, authentic expressions of encouragement? While I am sometimes a critic of organized affirmation times, I have seen invaluable times of encouragement come from well thought out times of affirmation. Here are my top three ideas for more formal group affirmations:

Collage from '11 Small Group

Book from '09 Small Group

1. Community Art Project: I love art, and I love that art gives people a freedom to express themselves in a way that words often can't. Last year, my small group did a community art project: a collage for each person. When the collages were finished, we explained why we added each element. It was honestly the best affirmation time I have ever been a part of because everyone could contribute without feeling the pressure of thinking of nice things on the spot. Plus, there was a physical takeaway to serve as a continual reminder of a supportive community. 


2. Collaborative Book: Once again, this involves art and prayer. Another time, we sent each of the small group members home with a piece of paper for each member of the small group. Their task was to pray for each person and put something on the paper. The result was a booklet of affirmation cards for each person. Some were abstract pictures, others were well thought out words, some contained favorite memories... regardless each card contained something meaningful that was thoughtful and prayerfully considered.


3. Prayer: When in a supportive community of believers, sometimes the most affirming thing is to simply pray for someone and ask God to strengthen and encourage them. The times that we have placed someone in the middle of a circle and laid hands on them in prayer have been some of the most powerful times of affirmation. As Christians, we do not pray for one another enough and taking the time to pray and prophesy over one another may result in God speaking in incredible ways. 

I'll briefly conclude this post with the most memorable affirmation I ever gave. At the end of a mission trip,  I wrote an encouraging thank you card for each person on our team. I simply prayed for a bit and jotted down some thoughts. When one of the guys on the trip opened his card, he started crying. He thanked me profusely for the wisdom and said that it was a message from God. To this day, I still have no memory of what I wrote, but I'll always remember that taking the time to say "I appreciate you" is worthwhile.