While I generally dismiss the idea of making New Year's resolutions, I am definitely a fan of prayer and introspection. Here are 11 things I want to continue working on in 2011 and beyond. (in no particular order) 

1. Moving beyond potential.  - A little over a month ago, God revealed to me that I am just potential.  This year, I want to start moving beyond potential. This concept applies to many areas of my life, but I think it has an underlying connection to potential in a relational sense. I am at the stage of my life that I am just now starting to think about the implications of a calling into missions and what that could mean for my future family. I truly believe that God is going to call me with a partner in ministry, and I'm nearing the point where the possibility of a relationship is no longer a distant concept.  Oddly enough, people keep asking me if I am interested in anyone. My response is always some form of "it doesn't matter if I am because God and I have some things to work through before I could ever date anyone".  This year, I want to seriously begin to work through those areas - so that when it is time to answer that awkward question, I can be more than just unrealized potential in the life of the guy I'm interested in pursuing. [Cue the Hoobastank chorus... just kidding.] 

2. Enabling the old sport. - I recently watched a film called 180 Degrees South.  In the film, there is a man in his 70's that accompanies a young guy as he attempts to summit a peak in Patagonia. I hate the idea of growing old, but love the idea of being an old geezer climbing mountains. As a young person in my 20's,  I already have physical limitations from both lack of fitness and lack of medical attention. If I ever want to climb the physical and metaphorical mountains in my life well into my old age, I need to prepare my body for the trials. My goal this year is to being restoring my health and fitness through both physical exercise and proper medical care. This will mean tackling some fears and challenges, but these changes need to begin being implemented now before they are permanently put on hold.  

3. Unleashing creativity. - Several times this year, someone has called me "artsy". My instant reaction is to deny it because that "isn't me". Truth be told, it is. I am just really insecure in my creative abilities through any medium, whether it's drawing or writing or spoken word or trying to play my guitar. My goal this year is to push through my childhood fears and begin utilizing the creative mind that God has given me to worship and serve Him. This means creating space in my life to create, and retraining my mind how to appreciate it's capabilities. It also means being vulnerable enough to share this side of myself with others.  

4. Challenging my comfort zone.  - This is an interesting theme in my life. It doesn't have one specific connotation, but rather an overarching emphasis. I get in the cyclic habit of playing it safe and becoming reticent and reluctant. Being comfortable and being in control is overrated. I want to break free from my zone and move into the realm of the uncomfortable... into the places and situations where I need to rely on God alone because anything else isn't an option.

5. Utilizing words. - Communication has been an on-going area of improvement in my life, simultaneously my greatest strength and my Achilles' heel. My goal is to continue to grow and to allow God to refine my speech. This includes a greater intentionality with my words, making sure they're glorifying God and edifying His Kingdom. There are several specific ways I believe I can practically move forward in this area, but I'm just going to share one of them.  

6. Sharing more, telling less. - I have felt increasingly convicted about a certain imbalance in my communication style.  Essentially, I find myself either dominating a conversation with stories or  with a plethora of questions.  I've learned that vulnerability begets vulnerability, so I have a tendency to tell people about my vulnerabilities so that they will share theirs with me.  And then later, ask a ton of questions without giving the opportunity for people to ask questions of me in return. There are two major problems with this imbalance: the first is that I do more telling than legitimate sharing, and I sometimes hide the truly vulnerable areas of my life behind the things I am willing to tell. The second, and more important, is that when people really need someone to talk with or when I try to follow up with a previous conversation, people sometimes forget that I am generally interested in their lives and a safe person to talk and pray with. I need to stop subconsciously arranging my conversations so that people will let me take interest in their lives, and start openly showing a deeper interest so that people that I care about can consciously choose to share their lives with me.  

7. Restoring my style. - While getting ready for an evening with old friends, I realized that I have very few articles of clothing that I like.  I haven't bought clothing in four or five years, and most of my current wardrobe was either free or is falling apart. While I hope to never be concerned with style, I do need to allow myself to be me. I need to reinvest in allowing myself to express myself. For instance, accessories, light make-up, and certain articles of clothing have completely disappeared from my life. And, I often use my temporary season of bumming around as an excuse to not fully be myself. There won't be any drastic change in my appearance because who I am has never been a facade, but I do need to give myself the freedom to look like myself- whatever that actually means.  

8. Embracing the awkward. - This is a seemingly arrogant statement, but I often forget how fun and funny I am. I've spent so much of my life trying to be miserable and trying to drive people away that I forget that I am a silly, comic at heart who actually knows how to bring the fun. Really. I remembered it a bit this summer, but have obsessionally used the melancholy as a shield again. I think I find being boring, or downright irritating, a safer alternative than being slightly outrageous. I used to lead cheers for youth conferences, I do like dance parties even though I have no rhythm, and I know how to make anyone laugh. Why do I often hide this, generally to avoid people or to avoid being judged by people? It's time to embrace how strange I am, and enjoy it so that others have the freedom to enjoy being themselves as well.

9. Planning with purpose. - Last year I decided not to use a planner because I wanted to be more spontaneous. What I have learned is that not scheduling life does not promote spontaneity. It actually hinders it. When you don't schedule in the important tasks, they don't get accomplished and you don't free yourself up to "go with the flow of life". Scheduling creates flexibility because it creates intentionality and highlights priorities.  Because I want to have the time and energy to"go with the flow", I have purchased a new moleskin planner that will soon be filled with a color -coded schedule of my life. Also, I want to extend the planning theme to begin considering my financial planning and how I am going to pay off my school debt while continuing to have the resources and time to do ministry and life effectively.

10. Keeping the rhythm. -  One of the biggest themes of 2010 was consistency. Toward the end of the year, I totally failed to meet that goal. I'm starting 2011 with a new devotional plan, a renewed vision, and a resolve to stop being resolved to be consistent. I need to be faithful consistently, but I need God to be the empowering factor in my life that enables my faithfulness. My friends in the 24-7 prayer movement live by this mantra: "We practice a rhythm of breathing in and out – time spent with God breathing Him in, and time spent with others, breathing out the life of God." I have found this rhythm before in various locations and seasons of life, but my goal this year is to cement that rhythm as an unwavering, never changing element of who I am. May the rhythm of God be the very foundation of my existence.

11.  Obeying the compulsion. - "For the love of Christ compels us..." May my life embody this phrase in  2 Cor. 5:14.  Often I'll pray, "Lord may we get a vision of You and Your love because when we do everything else will fall into place". My prayer is that I will daily refresh that vision of His love. That I will freely receive it, and freely give it. My tendency is to be reluctant to share Christ's love when I do not anticipate people receiving His love well, and in return, I then slowly become reluctant to receive His love because I am unwilling to be compelled into action and/or transformation. My goal this year is to focus on His love, and to forget everything else. May I allow the love of Christ to compel me so that everything else can fall into place and others can freely receive and freely give His love as well.