I know my limitations, I know my strengths, and I know myself. With that, I know that I have just lied. Saying that I know myself is claiming that I understand one of God's creations, and I do not have that depth of wisdom. My life is not my own, so to claim that I know it or that I own it is disrespectful and disgracing my Creator. The clay should not advise the potter how to shape it...

Going into to this summer, I have not been extremely confident about my job because it requires me to be vulnerable with some of those known limitations and weaknesses. I have also been praying that God would reveal to me those unknown character flaws as well. The first two days with my first serving group of students have proven to be a lesson in humility and learning what it means to be weak so that He may be strong.

The one aspect of my job that I was extremely confident in and comfortable with is the prayer tour of the city and the debriefing sessions. As we were practicing the prayer tour, I knew I had it down. I live in DC, so my commentary on the neighborhoods is second nature. I love prayer. I am a great orator. Comfortable and easy task... and one that I truly have a heart for doing... so no problem, right? Well... no. The problem lies in the fact that my confidence was in MY ability to do it, not in God's ability to use my strength to glorify Himself while showing students His heart for the city. I needed a lesson in humility.

And... I got one. My first prayer tour was okay, but definitely sub par for my standards. I messed up almost everything I could mess up to some degree. I took a detour from the route accidentally, I missed giving spouts of information, I stuttered and stammered most of the time, I misquoted statistics by large margins during one of the stops... all in all, the one thing I was confident in doing, I did not do well with the first time around. The truth is that before we even started the prayer tour, I began to get a migraine- which are generally completely debilitating. My strengths, my human ability to do this... went out the window as soon as the migraine began. I was centered in myself, and not in Him... so instead of having His words flow from me, I stammered over my own and tried to wince through the pain.

Second lesson in humility, giving directions in the city and finding parking. If you ever want to look like you have no idea what you are doing, try to navigate a 15 passenger van through traffic in downtown DC. Calling a youth leader to say I had you park in a spot that you cannot be in during rush hour, please meet me to move your van before it is towed is never fun. As someone who normally takes great pride in having a good sense of direction and street smarts, yesterday was a bit of a struggle for me.

Through the last two days, God has taken me on a crash course in humility, and I am grateful because I need Him to be guiding me this summer and always... not directing my steps myself. By dictionary definition, when someone is humbled, they are: "made humble in spirit or manner, and their power, independence, or prestige is destroyed". To be humble means that one is: " reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission". My independence and power and pride in my strengths were destroyed so that I could remain in a posture of submission.

His Word says that "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. " Matthew 23:12. The reminder was necessary, and I thank God that days 1 and 2 put me in my place.... humbling walking with my God.

"He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God. "
-Micah 6:8