" I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." -Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring.

Something that I have learned this year is the importance of prayer in koinonia (fellowship).  Being in community means sharing joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures, strengths and weaknesses, and all the ups and downs of life. Sharing is more than simply stating; to share means to have in common, to contribute to the cause. If my friend is sharing his/her burden with me, I am taking that burden upon myself by committing it to mind and to prayer. As long as the burden exists, as a friend in koinonia, it is my duty and privilege to help carry the load. The Biblical precedent for friendship and fellowship is the sharing of burdens:

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." -Galatians 6:2 (NIV).

 What does it mean to carry the burden of another? This question has been in my mind all year as I have been contemplating the meaning and importance of interceding for my friends. A mentor of mine recommended that I read Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets, and I have found the book considerably insightful and definitely challenging.

Sheets uses his knowledge of biblical Greek to highlight the meanings of scripture, and in chapter 5 of his book, he explains what it means to "Lean on me" in a biblical sense. He opens the chapter with an illustration of what it means to share in the suffering or humiliation with one another by providing support and then extrapolates explaining that to carry a burden means much more than simply being supportive.

"The Bible says, "Weep with those who weep" (Rom. 12:15) and "Bear one another's burden's
 (Gal. 6.2). Although this involves [showing public support for one another], sharing each other's pain, it does NOT convey the full scope of these verses. We're not merely to carry the burdens for our brothers and sisters in Christ; we're to carry them away... Big Difference! One involves sharing a load; the other involves removing a load." (65)

He goes on to explain how there are two words for "bearing" in the New Testament.The first is ἀνεχόμενοι (anechomai) meaning "to sustain, bear or hold up against a thing".  The Bible tells us to "bear with" one another in Col 3.13 and Eph 4:2.  As Sheets explains:

"[These passages are saying] "Stake yourselves to one another." In other words, we're to come along side a weak brother or sister who is "weighed down" and say 'You're not going to fall and be broken and destroyed, because I am staking myself to you. My strength is now yours. Go ahead, and lean on me. As long as I can stand, you will". (64).

In other words, we stand together and carry one another. To use another Lord of the Rings  reference, we take the perspective of Sam and say  "I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!".

The other word for bearing is βαστάζω (bastazo) meaning "to bear, lift or carry"- used in Romans 15:1-3 and Galatians 6:2. Sheets draws a relation to the Hebrew words paga ("laid on" or "intercession") and nasa ("to bear away" or "remove to a distance"). These words are used to describe how Christ bore our sins and distanced them from us. Sheets emphasizes how intercession is "re-presenting" the work of Christ by declaring the His power and authority in the lives of others.  We are to take the burden of someone else upon ourselves and  work to distance them from their troubles - through prayer and intercession which is only possible because of Christ's sacrifice and the authority given to His disciples through His name. 

"In implementing Christ's priestly ministry of intercession, we're not simply to carry burdens for others; we're to carry them away from others- just as Jesus did. (70)....

The Almighty administering the blessing of the covenant through us.  That's what intercession is all about. Paga:  He "lays on" someone else's need. Anechomai: We "stake" ourselves to that person. Bastazo: We "carry away" the weakness of burden.(73)."

The book continues explaining these concepts as well as prayer strategies and stories, but the premise is simple. The Biblical mandate is to support one another, to pray for burdens to be removed, to help tangibly in any way we can , and to continue to support one another and bear those burdens until the burden is no longer theirs to bear. 

I don't know about the rest of the world, but this perspective has changed how I pray for my friends. I used to just pray for things, hoping that they go away and pray occasionally as I thought about the trouble. Now, I keep a journal page of things to stand in prayer with my friends for, and do my best to pray on a regular basis. And, I pray with expectation knowing that it is my duty and privilege to intercede for those I love. Instead of praying, "God help them get through this, and I pray that your will will be done".

My prayer looks a little more like this: "Jesus, I know that You already paid the price for this burden. I know that the sacrifice You made on the cross was enough, and I believe that You can carry this away. Father, I know that You desire to see this trouble alleviated because you care for your children. So I ask in Jesus' name that this burden be removed. I pray Lord that if there is anyway I can help bear this trouble and stand with my friend in support, that You would reveal it to me. I stand with my friend, I stake myself to them. I pray that I can help be their strength through the strength You have given me, and that I can share in both their sorrow and the joy on the other side of this struggle. Lord, I ask that You place distance between them and their sorrows, so that they can see Your goodness and truth. If I can help in anyway to carry this burden or to carry them, Lord please show me how to do so. I love You God, and I know we both love my dear friend. So I believe that you are working in this situation and I thank you for the moment when this burden is no longer theirs to bear because that moment will come. As it does, may all the glory be to You, Amen."

I love my friends... and I will always bear with them. I can only hope that they will bear with me too... because we all need one another and to quote the Beatles, "we get by with a little help from our friends".

[Friendly disclaimer: intercession and burden bearing and all that jazz should not be confused with developing a sense of codependency. I'm not going to go into a long discourse about codependent relationships and the dangers of developing them. However, if relationships in your life send up unhealthy red flags, I would encourage you to consider investigating d.t.r. style.  I've personally been down that road before where friendships become obsessions, and it's not a fun place to be. Healthy friendships are invaluable in life and are worth taking the time to consider and develop.]